Year 2

I started drafting a few posts like last year to share some of the lessons Kurtis and I have learned over our second year of marriage. There were some clever lines, a few cute pictures, but it wasn't gelling.

I've even read back through last year's posts and thought "Wow, I thought I was being so cute and original..." But really, it feels like I know nothing at times!

A lot of events have transpired this year (as I know they have for many families), even more so in the last couple of weeks. And while there were some incredibly painful moments, they have helped to crystallize who we are in the Lord and who we want to be as a couple.

Everybody, I would hope, has that moment. Not unsimilar to the moment when you make your faith your own, you have to OWN your marriage at some point.

2004 was the year I really made my walk with the Lord MY walk. I was a freshman in high school, and in that school year, my dad lost his job, my great-grandfather died and both my grandmas moved. That year indeed marked the end of a chapter in our family, but the beginning to so many others. I learned to sink my roots deep into God that year.

Via Google

So here I am 10 years later learning in a new way how to sink my roots even deeper into God, deeper into marriage with the most amazing man.

At a concert at church a couple of weeks ago, the lead singer made this comment in regards to his walk with the Lord, "I haven't arrived yet, but I've certainly left."

Amen to that.

Arrived? No. Further on the journey from where we started? Yes.

I could type up lots of words about random stories from this past year, but frankly, that's not what's on my heart and mind.

What I do want to say is that heading into year 3, I am more excited than ever to roll up my sleeves and dig into life with Kurtis W. Hanni. I am more than excited to focus on being, than doing.

And as our heart has been from the beginning of our relationship, to the song at our wedding, to today: may we daily choose to put Christ at the center of our lives.

Via Google

Love, 

The Hannis

Click here for more pics from our trip!

A Year in Photos

Our first year of marriage in photos!

Year 1, Lesson 4

Lesson #4: Don't speak ill of your spouse, especially in front of other people. 

This was one of the most surprising things I discovered in our first year of marriage. It saddens me to see spouses bash each other in front of their friends. Not only is it more common than I would've thought, it is accepted...no almost expected to bash the "stupid" husbands or demean the "ball-and-chain" wives.

Frankly, that is dumb.
Maybe I'm still a starry-eyed newlywed, but that's not a healthy pattern, nor is it biblical. If you keep complaining about your spouse, that makes you part of the problem. C'mon peeps! Words have consequences and we know the Bible spares no expense on instructing us on the power of our words...
One of Clark Whitten's podcasts I heard even before we got engaged talked about the danger of "uncovering" your spouse in public, that is tearing them down in front of other people.

Choose to not do that. Choose to paint a different picture of marriage to a painfully confused society.

Linking this back to yesterday's lesson, maybe better words about your spouse have to start with better thoughts about your spouse.

Year 1, Lesson 3

Lesson #3: Assume the best about each other. 

I read this in one of our marriage books shortly before the wedding and it's a powerful guideline to live by. This seems to solve the other five percent of problems! Truly, in the majority of circumstances, your spouse isn't out to "get you." It's a subtle knee-jerk reaction to assume the worst when there has been a misunderstanding, but isn't it tiring to live like that? 

Especially for Christian couples: if you married your spouse in good conscience that this was who God had for you, why would you assume the worst about them?
We are still flawed human beings. That isn't going to change this side of heaven. But our life follows our words (and thoughts!), so what if our first reaction when something negative happens is to tell ourselves "Well, this wasn't what I was expecting to happen, but I trust their heart toward me," how might our relationships improve?

Communication (ahhhh there it is again!) and working through a misunderstanding may still need to happen, but how much healthier would our attitudes be toward our spouses?



Miss Lesson 1? Click here!
Didn't catch Lesson 2? Click here!

Year 1, Lesson 2

Lesson #2: "The greatest barrier to communication is assuming that it took place." 

What?! He can't read my mind?! 

Earth-shattering, right? But so true. This isn't late-breaking news or anything, but sometimes we make things so complicated! 

Keeping healthy communication lines open truly helps to solve a majority of problems. Just because you love someone and live under the same roof doesn't mean you can read each other's minds. 

I have to constantly remind myself that if something bothers me, I have to be a grown-up and use appropriate words to communicate that. 

If I appreciate something that someone has done, I also have to use appropriate words to communicate that. 

It's a constant process...a constant refining of how we communicate with each other and those around us- nothing wrong with that! 

Guess what...I can't read his mind either...

A Noteworthy Year: Twenty Twelve

A blinking cursor.

A big white square. That's what's facing me right now as I grasp for words to outline the past 12 months.

But blankness is certainly not what lies behind:

Lunch at Vast

Among many other things...
College graduation.
Best friend's engagement.
My engagement.
Best friend's wedding.
First devotions published
My wedding.
Also throw in a honeymoon, church change, new house, and new part-time job at TriCorps.

Fullness. Newness. Growth. Dreams reaching maturity and blossoming in my hands.

Numerous words have already been spoken on each of these amazing milestones; I am only left with a humble and grateful heart.

I am married to the most incredible man (for his end of the year blog post, click here) and blessed beyond belief to be his wife. My jobs right now are awesome, fulfilling and challenging- and very different from each other!

I have a beautiful home I get to decorate and fix up with my husband.

We both have excellent families that we get to live life with. I could go on...

Tear off that calendar page

What now? What is God speaking to me to focus on for 2013?

The words that keeps resonating in my spirit are: hungry, learn, grow.

Hungry for more of God.
Thirsty to learn.
Eager to grow.

I've been filled to the brim and even overflowing this year, but in an odd way, that makes me realize I do need God more and more every day so I can constantly learn, I can constantly grow, and I constantly bless and influence those around me. That gives me an appetite for God he promises to satisfy. (Matt. 5:6)

What words are echoing in your soul as you close your eyes on 2012 and open them to 2013?

"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." Psalm 107:9

Happy New Year!