This Writing Journey

A lot of soul-searching has taken place during this writing project. 

Many times I've stopped to bow my head and repent because the very words I'm typing, I need to activate in my own life.

Other times I'm reminded of a promise at just the right time.

Sometimes I feel like I'm writing to my younger self or to the young girls in my life, and my heart brims with tenderness at the truth I hope gets planted in their lives.

I've come face-to-face with my strengths, but also my weaknesses. I've had to to grapple with them, stare them down and subdue them every day, because with this endeavor right now, I'm the only one getting in the way of me. I'm the only one I can blame for not progressing.

Do you know how humbling that is?

Photography by Brittany Castell

I've heard many writers say similar things, but always thought deep down it was just false modesty.

But I'm starting to understand that those feelings are very real.

Kudos

I got on Facebook the other morning and in my inbox was unexpected surprise- a former coworker had included Note to Self in her "Most Inspirational" blog round of awards! 

Didn't even know there was such a thing! The award is given in the spirit of honoring friends and keeping the blogosphere a pleasant place to be.

I'm honored, Racheal!

In the spirit of passing the award on, here are a few blogs I enjoy following or gain inspiration from:

High Heels and High Notes- Lael Ewing

Hush Fashion- Emily Canavesio

Liz Marie blog

Something Simple- Hilary Garza

Year 1, Lesson 4

Lesson #4: Don't speak ill of your spouse, especially in front of other people. 

This was one of the most surprising things I discovered in our first year of marriage. It saddens me to see spouses bash each other in front of their friends. Not only is it more common than I would've thought, it is accepted...no almost expected to bash the "stupid" husbands or demean the "ball-and-chain" wives.

Frankly, that is dumb.
Maybe I'm still a starry-eyed newlywed, but that's not a healthy pattern, nor is it biblical. If you keep complaining about your spouse, that makes you part of the problem. C'mon peeps! Words have consequences and we know the Bible spares no expense on instructing us on the power of our words...
One of Clark Whitten's podcasts I heard even before we got engaged talked about the danger of "uncovering" your spouse in public, that is tearing them down in front of other people.

Choose to not do that. Choose to paint a different picture of marriage to a painfully confused society.

Linking this back to yesterday's lesson, maybe better words about your spouse have to start with better thoughts about your spouse.

Year 1, Lesson 3

Lesson #3: Assume the best about each other. 

I read this in one of our marriage books shortly before the wedding and it's a powerful guideline to live by. This seems to solve the other five percent of problems! Truly, in the majority of circumstances, your spouse isn't out to "get you." It's a subtle knee-jerk reaction to assume the worst when there has been a misunderstanding, but isn't it tiring to live like that? 

Especially for Christian couples: if you married your spouse in good conscience that this was who God had for you, why would you assume the worst about them?
We are still flawed human beings. That isn't going to change this side of heaven. But our life follows our words (and thoughts!), so what if our first reaction when something negative happens is to tell ourselves "Well, this wasn't what I was expecting to happen, but I trust their heart toward me," how might our relationships improve?

Communication (ahhhh there it is again!) and working through a misunderstanding may still need to happen, but how much healthier would our attitudes be toward our spouses?



Miss Lesson 1? Click here!
Didn't catch Lesson 2? Click here!

Year 1, Lesson 2

Lesson #2: "The greatest barrier to communication is assuming that it took place." 

What?! He can't read my mind?! 

Earth-shattering, right? But so true. This isn't late-breaking news or anything, but sometimes we make things so complicated! 

Keeping healthy communication lines open truly helps to solve a majority of problems. Just because you love someone and live under the same roof doesn't mean you can read each other's minds. 

I have to constantly remind myself that if something bothers me, I have to be a grown-up and use appropriate words to communicate that. 

If I appreciate something that someone has done, I also have to use appropriate words to communicate that. 

It's a constant process...a constant refining of how we communicate with each other and those around us- nothing wrong with that! 

Guess what...I can't read his mind either...