A Huge Gaping Abyss

Here is another devo from the vault! I wrote this Aug/Sept of my freshman year in college. I have grown a lot in the area of trusting God with my future since then, but thought it would be cool to post this before my LAST WEEK of regular classes (maybe ever?) starts up. 

Enjoy!

I recently attended a leadership orientation for my scholarship group.  As is typical with these types of orientations, we got to partake in a variety of icebreakers.  One such task, though relatively simple, proved amazingly hard for me. 

Picture this: you and your partner. Small balls on the ground.  Your partner directs you to the balls and you throw the balls to try to tag the other people out by listening to your partner’s instructions. 

Oh yeah, and you are blindfolded, as are the other people you are trying to tag. 

Since I went first, my partner actually had to lead me out of the room where we were meeting to the playing space outside.  Here is where I ran into my problem. 

I couldn’t see. 

I didn’t know what to expect next. 

Any step could be my last (okay, not really but just play along).  The next step could plunge me into a huge gaping abyss. 

Even with my partner leading me by the elbow and reassuring me I was on solid ground, I literally could not tell my legs to take bigger steps out to the yard.  I was taking little baby steps.  My partner eventually dragged me the rest of the way down the path.

Why would I be telling you this?

This is a message the Lord has been teaching me through a variety of circumstances.  Even if we can’t see or think one moment ahead, He has already been there and back again.  

Proverbs 20:24 says, “A man’s steps are directed by the Lord. How then can anyone understand his own way?” 

Why is it so hard to just let go and trust?  I was slightly appalled at how even though someone was telling me,”Hey, it’s okay, take bigger steps,” I absolutely refused to take bigger steps for fear of plummeting to the ground and making a fool of myself.

Can’t you just hear the Lord saying, “Hey, it’s okay. I am right here. Take bigger steps”?

Isaiah 43:1-2, Psalm 139:16, Proverbs 3:5-6

In Review, Part 2

4. Above is a journal entry from Sept. 26 and this decision of mine had a tangible impact on my semester. The past 16 weeks were truly the most peaceful and least stressed I have had since I started college. While there are many assignments, deadlines, projects and schedules to keep straight in a semester, it doesn't have to all be painful. I just told myself I was not going to get stressed, that my God is a more-than-capable helper and off we went. He met my needs every step of the way! It is a daily choice to lay down stress. Also, as Christians, it does not make us better, cooler or more elite to be super-stressed and busy all the time.  The peace that "passes all understanding" should visibly be resting over our lives as Christians.

3. "We have this as a sure and steadfast ANCHOR of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." ---Hebrews 6:19

This is my necklace that a lot of you have most likely seen me wear. It was given to me by a friend at a significant time in my life. Earlier in the summer, I started thinking about goals and scriptures to focus on for my senior year. I usually take time to do that before each school year and at the beginning of each new calendar year. I was reading through Hebrews at the time and my spirit latched on to the above verse. An anchor. I could hardly think of a more appealing object. An anchor doesn't move and it doesn't waver. It's job is to keep a ship in place and that is what God is for our souls. Little did I know that this scripture and the anchor symbol was to become far more important than I could imagine...

2. My Grandpa Ken (my mom's dad) died suddenly on Wednesday, July 6, 2011. His death has been the toughest personal loss, within remembering, that I have had to live with. For once in my life, I did not know what to do with myself in the days following that awful morning in July. My brother Taylor and I were the main ones that spoke briefly at his graveside service the following Monday morning. I didn't think that I could do it. I kept thinking, I shouldn't have to do this. It was years too early.
   And yet, I made it through that day. We all did. And I didn't just "make it," I literally felt lifted up on wings that flew me above the natural grief, pain and never-ending questions and into supernatural peace and comfort. Though I didn't openly talk about this event on my Twitter and Facebook accounts, many of you did contact me personally and I knew I was surrounded by prayers upon prayers. I felt them. I needed them. I am forever grateful for them.
   Less than two weeks after his death, I was picking out a new journal at Mardel's when I saw the above card in a box of greeting cards. Its sweet image and simple message immediately spoke to me.
  "Today is no match for you and God." God has proved this truth over and over to me since that Wednesday in July and I hope you realize He is ready and eager to prove the same thing in your life.