Year 1, Lesson 3

Lesson #3: Assume the best about each other. 

I read this in one of our marriage books shortly before the wedding and it's a powerful guideline to live by. This seems to solve the other five percent of problems! Truly, in the majority of circumstances, your spouse isn't out to "get you." It's a subtle knee-jerk reaction to assume the worst when there has been a misunderstanding, but isn't it tiring to live like that? 

Especially for Christian couples: if you married your spouse in good conscience that this was who God had for you, why would you assume the worst about them?
We are still flawed human beings. That isn't going to change this side of heaven. But our life follows our words (and thoughts!), so what if our first reaction when something negative happens is to tell ourselves "Well, this wasn't what I was expecting to happen, but I trust their heart toward me," how might our relationships improve?

Communication (ahhhh there it is again!) and working through a misunderstanding may still need to happen, but how much healthier would our attitudes be toward our spouses?



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Year 1, Lesson 2

Lesson #2: "The greatest barrier to communication is assuming that it took place." 

What?! He can't read my mind?! 

Earth-shattering, right? But so true. This isn't late-breaking news or anything, but sometimes we make things so complicated! 

Keeping healthy communication lines open truly helps to solve a majority of problems. Just because you love someone and live under the same roof doesn't mean you can read each other's minds. 

I have to constantly remind myself that if something bothers me, I have to be a grown-up and use appropriate words to communicate that. 

If I appreciate something that someone has done, I also have to use appropriate words to communicate that. 

It's a constant process...a constant refining of how we communicate with each other and those around us- nothing wrong with that! 

Guess what...I can't read his mind either...

Year 1, Lesson 1

Nearly 365 days have passed since we became Mr. and Mrs. Hanni.

The year has flown by, and yet it feels like we've been married for years already (in a good way!)

This week, I thought I would share some favorite moments and lessons learned over our first year of marriage.

Lesson #1: A dish is not a "meal" unless it has meat. Unless the dish is being served past 9:00 p.m., lighter fares are then accepted as a "meal." This may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is BIG DEAL to someone-ahem Kurtis-who shall remain nameless.

First grocery list!

Grocery shopping and dishwashing can get old, so I try to not focus too much on the "un-fun" aspects of the job, but instead on the giddy grin of my husband when he and I try a new dish or sit down to a favorite.

That never gets old!

It Was the Last of Times, It Was the First of Times

Hello readers,

This is Samantha Hanni, the writer formerly known as Samantha Maloy. I would've blogged sooner, but it's later...so whatever. In case you hadn't heard...

I am now a wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a husband!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wedding photography featured in this post by Valerie Sebestyen.
Check out my or her FB page for the complete album.

And I couldn't be more thrilled, contented, or excited.

Where do I begin? The week leading up to the wedding proceeded smoothly, all things considered. But nearly everyday brought the poignant thought of "This is the last time that..."

The week that never was close, never seemed like it was going to happen was right here: happening, rushing over and past me in a wave that I couldn't control.

However, I did my best to soak in the water from the wedding wave (or hurricane. or tsunami. K never mind that's being dramatic.) and I loved and felt that week more deeply than I thought was possible.

As you can see, the long awaited day started for me bright and early! After that, I don't remember much... except that we got hitched!

No, for real...the day appeared, existed, then vanished.

The day went incredibly smooth though (at least it seemed like that...if there are conflicting stories, please keep those to yourself! Haha.) Many many thanks for all who helped it run so smoothly. Your thank you card will be arriving soon in the mail. I promise!!

Then we were on our own. Finally. Just ourselves, headed to relax in the Florida Keys for a whole week.

Pigeon Key

Reppin' Shimmers in the Atlantic Ocean! 

I don't even know...

Marker 88 Restaurant

Outside our resort

Shark Valley- Everglades

Photographing a cute little lizard 

Self-explanatory

Random signs I found amusing

.together.

By the end of the week, we were both ready to be back in our lovely Oklahoma and start living life again, but living it together. Just two weeks before had been a week of lasts. Now it was a week of firsts. First time to go to the grocery store, first time to plan and cook meals -all by myself!- first time for Kurtis to come home to me, first time to make our bed, first time to come home together after a Thunder game, first first first!

Everything we have planned, prayed and dreamed about, we are living out now, with more and more to come. I can already say it is a beautiful, restoring, challenging journey.

We aren't perfect, but I can say this without a doubt: Kurtis was created to be a husband and I was created to be a wife.  It is an energizing, powerful thing to be living out the role you were created for. Glory to our Creator, and the One who holds our lives and marriage in His hands.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Hanni

7-19-11

One year ago today, I asked God for something rather specific.

This request is written on a piece of wood and is from a sermon that our church does every year. It represents "staking your claim" in God's promises and is a visual representation of what you have asked God for in faith. (Another story behind this...ask me some other time!)

So here I was. I was getting ready to start my senior year. I was going back to teaching. I was in a very good place in my relationship with the Lord. I was really happy with where I was in life. But I wanted to ask God this one thing...

There was no one I was interested in at the time and I was looking at finishing school in just nine short months. In my mind, it was a reasonable request that I at least meet the man who I would marry and begin to build a friendship that would eventually turn into something more. If that still wasn't in God's timing for this year, then ok. At least I'd asked. And of course I had been praying about who I would marry for years, thinking about qualities that I desired, and actually praying FOR whoever that man would be.

But this time, it just felt different.

Anyway, back to 7-19-11....

About two weeks from that day, my friend Claire Myers told me about "this guy" from her church. (Also another crazy story in and of itself!)

Then on 8-18-11, I met Kurtis Hanni for the first time at the Starbucks by dance.

Then one month from that first meeting, we were dating.

Then nine months later, we got engaged.

So here I am a year later, planning a wedding and preparing to become a wife to the most loving, intelligent, God-fearing, funny, handsome man I have EVER met.  

I am thrilled beyond words.

Yet I managed to find a few for this post :)

I share this because I am always encouraged when I hear or read about God answering prayers and working in the lives of fellow believers. My story...our story!... isn't a formula or a blueprint, but yet another piece of unique evidence of a faithful God.

And He is so very faithful...goodness...I can hardly articulate it.

"...no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love Him."

1 Cor. 2:9