In Review, Part 3

1. Honestly, I could have used this song to sum up my entire year and laid aside the other items on my list.  This song is "Never Once" by Matt Redman. Redman is probably my favorite worship artist and I fell in love with this song when I first heard it back in September. I just talked about losing my Grandpa on July 6, as many of you probably already knew. What many don't know about is the intense spiritual battle our family went through just the day before.
   On Tuesday, July 5, 2011, my brother was undergoing his second set of steroid injections in his lower back to ease intense pain from two bulging discs. The procedure went fine, but as he was coming to, the doctor in charge of his procedure joined him and my mom in the recovery room. My mom made a comment in passing about "when Taylor gets better."
   In what I fully believe was a direct spiritual attack against God's word that had already been spoken to Taylor and our family about his full healing, the doctor began to repeat over and over again in a very unnatural and combative manner, "Who told you he would get better? People don't recover from this injury. He is never going to be better. He is never going to get better...never get better."
   Her words literally started making my brother and mother feel sick.
   You can ask my mom and brother for the full story, which I recommend because there is more than I am even able to fit in this post.
   Late that evening, when it was just the four of us, we spent quite a bit of time in prayer and praise, with the reassurance that the promise of healing was indeed true. Why else would the enemy try so hard to distract and discourage us?
  

What am I trying to say?

We are not unique.

We are not better.

We are not special.

Other families go through similar trials. Others go through far more intense trials.

I am simply sharing our story.

My brother's back injury, my Grandpa's death, other struggles and transitions were all negative events, at face value. They were laden with pain and grief, interlaced with unanswerable questions and wrapped in tears and stress.

But the story doesn't end there. 

And that is the most important point, the only point, in fact!

Just like the song said, never once did God leave my family alone. Never once, did He leave ME alone. All our victories are because of Him. We were, and continue to be, carried by his constant grace and peace.  In the face of pain and loss, in the very face of what the Enemy meant for evil, God has returned manifold blessings to us.

Our family is closer and stronger than ever before.
Taylor is fully healed and is currently playing basketball WITHOUT any pain at the collegiate level.
My brother and I both had an awesome semester of school: his first, my next-to-last.
Special people have been brought into our lives, in ways that can only be attributed to God.
The list could go on...

More lessons will be learned. More grace and blessings will fall. We do forever breathe in His grace and breathe out His praise. Welcome, 2012!

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

---Proverbs 31:25 

In Review, Part 2

4. Above is a journal entry from Sept. 26 and this decision of mine had a tangible impact on my semester. The past 16 weeks were truly the most peaceful and least stressed I have had since I started college. While there are many assignments, deadlines, projects and schedules to keep straight in a semester, it doesn't have to all be painful. I just told myself I was not going to get stressed, that my God is a more-than-capable helper and off we went. He met my needs every step of the way! It is a daily choice to lay down stress. Also, as Christians, it does not make us better, cooler or more elite to be super-stressed and busy all the time.  The peace that "passes all understanding" should visibly be resting over our lives as Christians.

3. "We have this as a sure and steadfast ANCHOR of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." ---Hebrews 6:19

This is my necklace that a lot of you have most likely seen me wear. It was given to me by a friend at a significant time in my life. Earlier in the summer, I started thinking about goals and scriptures to focus on for my senior year. I usually take time to do that before each school year and at the beginning of each new calendar year. I was reading through Hebrews at the time and my spirit latched on to the above verse. An anchor. I could hardly think of a more appealing object. An anchor doesn't move and it doesn't waver. It's job is to keep a ship in place and that is what God is for our souls. Little did I know that this scripture and the anchor symbol was to become far more important than I could imagine...

2. My Grandpa Ken (my mom's dad) died suddenly on Wednesday, July 6, 2011. His death has been the toughest personal loss, within remembering, that I have had to live with. For once in my life, I did not know what to do with myself in the days following that awful morning in July. My brother Taylor and I were the main ones that spoke briefly at his graveside service the following Monday morning. I didn't think that I could do it. I kept thinking, I shouldn't have to do this. It was years too early.
   And yet, I made it through that day. We all did. And I didn't just "make it," I literally felt lifted up on wings that flew me above the natural grief, pain and never-ending questions and into supernatural peace and comfort. Though I didn't openly talk about this event on my Twitter and Facebook accounts, many of you did contact me personally and I knew I was surrounded by prayers upon prayers. I felt them. I needed them. I am forever grateful for them.
   Less than two weeks after his death, I was picking out a new journal at Mardel's when I saw the above card in a box of greeting cards. Its sweet image and simple message immediately spoke to me.
  "Today is no match for you and God." God has proved this truth over and over to me since that Wednesday in July and I hope you realize He is ready and eager to prove the same thing in your life.

In Review, Part 1

New Year's is one of my favorite holidays because it combines looking back and looking forward, two of my favorite activities. I love the chance to reflect on the 365 days that have passed and then make goals, dream and pray about the next 365 days, or in the case of 2012, 366 days. :-)

2011 has been a very eventful year for my family, as I am sure it has been for other families as well. What I'd like to share is a countdown of the top quotes/scriptures/songs/journal entries that have had the greatest influence on me this year.

8. "The greatest enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but good choices which are not quite good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best." ---Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest (May 25)

Subconsciously, this has long been a driving force in my life, but it came to the forefront of my mind time and again this year. I was faced with several decisions and this thought, this holding out for the best, was the main factor that influenced those decisions. I pray that I continue to have courage to focus on this truth!

7. Mary Englebreit's artwork just flat out brings a smile to your face! I came across this poster on Pinterest this fall and it is the quote on my blog profile. Just to be is a blessing...with Christ, this is the absolute truth! And it simplifies your day to focus on that truth.


6. "Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy." & "Where grows the golden grain? Where faith? Where sympathy? In a furrow, cut by pain." ---Streams in the Desert (Jan. 18 & 20)

Truthfully, I discovered this line about two years ago, but it was made even more real in my life this year. This school of thought will begin to make more sense as you see more of what happened in our family in Part 2 of my post. It is such a beautiful and hopeful image!


5. The final entry for Part 1 is a song by Selah called "All My Tears." A group from my studio danced to this song about three years ago. It was beautiful and haunting...definitely one of my favorite dances. Little did I know that when we performed this in May 2008, it would be the last time that many of us would ever dance together for various reasons.
   Fast forward to October 2011. I received word that a friend of mine had been killed in a car accident. She was 20, and had been one of the dancers in "All My Tears."  The morning of her funeral, I had been thinking of that very song, and as it turns out, they showed the dance at her service. That's when it hit me. It is our passion as Christians who are dancers to dance for an audience of One.  Now she truly was in the presence of our Savior, dancing for Him.... Listen to the song below and just imagine...

Mentally Speaking

I started working on this particular post several weeks ago, but didn't post it. I took another look at it and well, here it is.

Take a moment and visualize. That's all I want you to do- just visualize. How do you view that which is most important and vital to your life?

For example, I view:
My parents as my counselors and friends
My brother as my best friend
Time as the most precious thing I can give anyone
Life as a journey (This is not a cliché comment, not every personality type views life like that)
Christianity as a relationship, not a religion

How you visualize something greatly affects how you act in relationship to that idea or person.
Basic? Yes.
Obvious? You would like to think so.

Stay with me.

Making a list of priorities is fairly important in this society, wouldn't you agree? There are lists on what to list on your list of priorities, books, talks, etc., etc., on the very subject. You have work priorities, school priorities, family priorities, life priorities...is the word priorities looking and sounding weird now?

We are a very priority-orientated culture.

Again, I think we can all agree that the people, projects and "things" at the top of the list get more time and attention than those toward the bottom of the list. But it's often a fight to keep that which we have deemed as being worthy of holding that top position in said position. Conversely, it is easy for priorities to change. So let's be honest, the best-constructed priority chart is still a very liquid list.

For as useful as this is at focusing our energy and resources, I would like to propose that visualizing our relationship with God in the same way is not such a good idea. In fact, it could be a hindrance to growing in our relationship with Him.

I came across the following example about four years ago and it has stuck in my mind. I wish I could remember exactly where I read it, but that isn't going to happen. 

What if we visualized God as the hub of our lives from which everything else radiates, like spokes on a wheel?

                                                            Google Images

How does that change your image of your relationship with God? How might that change how you interact with Him?

Arranging our lives with God as the hub means that He is going to have a greater chance to affect every aspect of our lives. We don't have to pencil Him in. We don't have to fight to make Him a priority. If we have placed Him at the center of our lives (and it is a daily choice) then He IS going to transform us and perfect us.

I think God deserves to be at the center of our lives, and not just at the top of our priorities.

What Success Does to Other People's Minds

I'm a Tim Tebow fan.

I have been since he played at Florida and am thrilled with the success he has been having in Denver. It's obvious that he is not afraid of hard work. He also is an excellent representative of the positives of homeschooling. (Yes, Tebow was homeschooled.)

                                                                                             Chris Schneider/Associated Press

Here is what I have been thinking about all day. Why are people having such a hard time with him? Why can they not "get over him." Why are the pundits and others so bothered by his unabashed expressions of faith? In the words of one of Rick Warren's tweets this past week, "Of ALL the attitudes on display at NFL games, the last people should be bothered by is a guy kneeling to thank God."

Wise words.

I can't really debate his actual or supposed football success... I'm a few years short of my "football degree." What I'm looking at is the overall gist of his success and the simple fact that people cannot handle it.

Yes, you read that right.

People cannot, for the most part, handle another person's off-the-charts success. They cannot handle Tebow's success and the success of anyone else like him.
Anyway, this is one of my favorite poems/quotes and it's on my bathroom mirror:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ---Marianne Williamson

This isn't Scripture, but I think it makes a good point. As I was getting ready this morning, I read over it again and it struck me that this may be part of people's problem with Tebow.

Tebow is not playing small and it's freaking people out.

It is much easier to shift into average mode. Less attention, less responsibilities, less consequences if you mess up, but you definitely put out enough of "whatever" to get by. But it is less, nonetheless. To actually face our "lightness" would require accountability. Dilligence. Sacrifice. Maybe people would raise an eyebrow. Maybe people would wonder "Why?" Maybe people would think we were weird. (God forbid).

But it would be worth it.

If any person dares to challenge the status quo (This is NOT a High School Musical reference!), and I don't know, decide to be better than average, there is a quick movement from the averages, the less-than-averages and the cynics to contain, deflect, criticize and explain away this sudden solar flare of awesomeness.

What if...

What if we just let Tebow be Tebow? He is doing a pretty good job at it, if you ask me. What if we decided to be ok with his above-average success?

I am not trying to make a statement on how people live their lives, whether it's above or below "average." I am not a psychiatrist, a sports analyst or a pastor. In fact, I am merely using Tebow as an example. I can think of many other examples that illustrate this same point.

No. 15 for the Denver Broncos is fulfilling his own unique purpose. God simply needs us to be the very best version of ourselves.

What would happen if we quit shrinking and instead stretched to our own full potential?

The Most Powerful Thing

It's not a secret nor a surprise that I like words.

I always have and always will. English, spelling, reading and composition have been my go-to subjects from the beginning. I don't necessarily hate numbers, but words and I kind of have a thing...

Take my room for instance. I have many notes to myself with scripture, intriguing quotes and song lyrics posted in multiple places. This is what my bathroom mirror looks like.

I also have more notes and posters in my closet. Here is one of my favorite scriptures which I had made into a wall quote. It's the last part of 1 Corinthians 2:9 in case you can't read it.

Then I have this one phrase that I taped above the light switch in my room. It simply says "Your life follows your words."

Truth.
Do you really comprehend just how powerful your words really are? I mean, really and truly have you thought about it? Award yourself a few points if you've at least thought about it. Now, do you attempt to live your life like you know just how powerful your words are? (How we doin' on the points?)

This concept has been at the forefront of my mind over the last several months. I can't get away from it.
And there are a lot of directions I could go with this post, many scriptures I could bring up or other sources I could quote, but I don't feel like getting all scholarly right here and now...I have other things I need to tend to! (But to back myself up: Phil. 2:14, James 3, Eph. 4:29, 5:4, Proverbs 12:18, 13:3, 12:28, 25:11, and many many others.)

Words.
Words.
Words.

Intangible things, you realize? Intangible, invisible things that come from something smaller than an iPhone: your tongue. Yet words can burn a nation to the ground, or stir its citizens to action. Comfort a weeping child or scar him for life. Make a heart overflow with joy and excitement or break it to pieces that scatter on the wind. Words can set a soul free or shackle it with chains of iron.

Words.

I finished reading a little booklet this morning that our church handed out a couple of weeks ago. It is Kenneth Hagin's "In Him." So good. Find yourself a copy and read it! Or if you ask nicely, I might loan you mine :)

Anyway, this theme of speaking God's promises and His pure goodness over your life came up again and again.
Do you wonder why you are tired?
Why the rottenest stuff happens to you?
Why all the joy seems to have flown out of your life?

Well, what does your daily conversation and self-talk consist of? Do you constantly complain "I'm sick and tired?" "It's just my luck that____," "Geez, can't this week be over?!" "I just hate school/work/whatever so much!" Etc., etc., etc. Blah blah blah.

As Christians, this type of self-talk is honestly unacceptable. I have been challenging myself to avoid these statements and statements similar and instead confess that God is taking care of me, that it's all good and that I am healthy and whole. Because all of that is true. I don't always succeed, but I am trying. And I can tell a difference.

I would challenge you to censor yourself in the same way. Just see what happens.

I in no way mean to belittle or judge other's circumstances. That's not my business and not my point. I only mean to lay before you a challenge and leave the rest to you.

Oh and leave you with this story:

Back in the summer, my mom, brother and I were heading to Taco Bell to get one of their slushy drinks after working at my grandmother's. I had tried a Pina Colada Frutista Freeze a few days ago and wanted another.
But as we pull into the drive-thru, I made an offhand comment of "Just watch and see- they won't have that kind!"
We pull up to order.
"Pina Colada? Ma'am, we don't make that kind. We do have Strawberry or..."
To this day, I have never been able to order that flavor.

Just sayin'...

I'm Back!

So it has been a few months since I last posted.
I truly meant to be more consistent (which is what everyone says), but senior year started and it is kind of taking a starring role in my life right now. According to my countdown app, it is 24 weeks and six days until I get to walk across that stage!
And it can't get here soon enough.
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about these past three years...what I have learned, what I absolutely WILL NOT miss, etc., etc. It's mind-boggling really. I am pretty different from when I graduated high school- not in the essential things, mind you, but in other ways. Ways that needed to change.
But what I want to share today is a list of things/people that I could not have survived college without. The first few are random and a bit silly, but the latter part of the list is quite serious.

10. Granola bars (It's what's on the menu. I wonder how many I have consumed in the past three years?)
9.   Green tea (More than one steaming thermos of this life force helped me get through some nasty days!)
8.   Umbrella (There have been certain days when this accessory is almost more necessary than a Scantron.)
7.   Rain boots (See above. Note to self: never leave rain boots by a space heater...)
6.   Warm boots (I love my Uggs. Worth the money since I wear them nearly everyday during the fall/winter and they last and last...)
5.   Son of Citation Machine & EasyBib (Need I say more???)
4.   My planner (I'm smart, but not that smart. It is my external hardrive.)
3.   Dean Fisher (If you know him, you know why he made the list. If you don't know him, well...)
2.  My family and close friends (They keep me sane and steady!)
1.  Jesus (Of course! How else have I survived?)

So there you are, read it and be amused...or not haha! I won't be offended.

There are other things and people who have most assuredly made this season in my life a success. It has not been a solo act! But really, my last point on the list is the only one that matters. Here is a note I wrote to myself several months ago that sums it up:

"I stand upon the Rock. College has not tempted me to find another rock to stand on, but forced me to better understand and more strongly believe in that upon which I already stood. Out of necessity, I have sunk my roots deeper & deeper into the Solid Rock. And I have not been disappointed."

Later!                                  

This is my second post.

So my first post was my last editorial of the summer. And this post contains my very first one. It ran in The Vista the second week of June under the headline of "Redefining the Bad Day." Where it mentions summer school, just think "fall semester," and it has the same effect. 

After much mental denial, yes, the summer semester of 2011 is finally here in all its glory.

Ah, summer school.

Maybe you’re jazzed about it…or not. From snippets of students’ conversations, tweets or Facebook statuses, the dreaded biology class or some other such helpless course get bad reps.  In fact, a surprising portion of casual banter and social media fodder is…complaining.

But consider with me, if you will, for a moment.

It could be so much worse.

Since the May 24 tornadoes, I can’t help but think how absurdly lucky and utterly blessed so many of us are and we don’t even take stock of it all.

I dare complain about a little 8-week class, when there are fellow Oklahomans who now have nothing?

When that alarm clock goes off summoning us to our day’s work, do we curse the clock, or choose to be grateful that we still have a bed in house that hasn’t been swept away by Mother Nature’s latest EF-5 special?

It could be worse.

I think about the parents in Piedmont who in one day lost two kids, their home and their way of life until now.

I think about the high school graduate in Joplin, who at the dawn of his next chapter life, never got the chance to turn the page.

That my friends, is truly a bad day.

I propose that we cannot afford the exorbitant price of complaining.

At the risk of sounding flaky or cliché, remember as you drag yourself out of bed for that 8:00 class or toss your books into your 450-degree car at the end of the day, that it could be worse. Before you take a breath to complain about the science class, take another breath and realize that it could always be worse. In fact, take another breath and be glad you could.

Well, I'm here. Now what?

Hello.
My name is Samantha and I have a few thoughts to share. Some posts (like today's) contain recent material I've written. Others are devotionals and other such collection of thoughts that God gave to me as long as four years ago.

We shall see how this goes.

Leave your comments, tell your friends about this blog, and please, if you see any typos that somehow slipped by me, let me know. (I'm an editor, so typos are epic fails for me...)

The first few posts are editorials that were published in the University of Central Oklahoma's campus newspaper, The Vista. I held the editor-in-chief position of The Vista this summer and had the chance to write four editorials. This is the last one I wrote and it ran under the headline of "School of Sorrow."

Editorials generally are about news but this particular editorial is not about news. It is not about politics and it is not about the campus. It is about people.

My grandfather, who I was close to, died very unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago. Despite dealing with the grief, which will take…well, it takes as long it takes, I have learned some valuable lessons, and maybe it will help someone else through a difficult situation. If not, I guess I am mainly the one that needs this.

First of all, when helping those who have just suffered something tragic, don’t ask questions, just do. Many people were supportive of our family and offered to do whatever we needed, and I know they were sincere. Fact is, people who have just received horrific news, cannot answer questions and cannot think of what they need. If you know the family in need well enough, just make food and bring it to them. Just load the dishwasher without asking. Trust me, it is what is needed, and they will be eternally grateful. We had a few families do that for us and it makes a world of difference. Saddle up your horse and ride to their rescue.

Secondly, I have learned that catching grief causes you to drop other burdens. Suddenly, certain things do not matter anymore. Ever-pressing tasks, pesky problems and annoying memories disappeared from the computer screen of your mind. It is actually a good thing. There were several looming tasks on my calendar the week my Grandpa died and other things that had been nagging at my mind. In one afternoon, that all was swept away.

Thirdly, do not ask if someone is “ok.” No, they are not ok. A family member has just died. This phrase has become so commonplace in our day-to-day conversation, yet to someone filled with grief, it honestly feels like a slap in the face. No, we are not “ok.” We will be eventually, but not today.

Finally, if you ever think your life is not worth living, that it would be far easier for your family to not have to deal with you, please, please think again. Life is ALWAYS worth living and to decide to take yourself out of the game early will leave your family minus one player; with unanswerable questions, unspeakable grief, and silence and space where your words and life should’ve been.

In the words of a Switchfoot song, “Hallelujah, every breath is a second chance.”